I'm Out for Dead Presidents . . .

It was in Cody that I discovered that Cece is obsessed with Anne Oakley. Apparently at around age 4, she dressed as Annie Oakley in a red and white outfit with white cowboy boots and twin holsters and silver toy six shooters. So each day in Cody, she would say, “I feel like I have come full circle” or “I like it here; it reminds me of Annie Oakley.” We enjoyed Cody, Yellowstone and Grand Tetons National Park, but, for me, the initial point of the trip was Mount Rushmore so I did laundry, packed up the car, said goodbye to the coffee ladies and the “best hotel ever” and we headed out for Rapid City, South Dakota. We set the GPS, saw that it is a 6.5 hour drive and headed east out of Cody on Route 14. Cece asked me if we would go through any more mountains and I said, I did not think so because eastern Wyoming is pretty flat. That might be true, but given that we were in northwestern Wyoming, I might have spoken prematurely.

We stopped in Emblem (population 10). That’s right, population 10. We also stopped in Greybull (population, around 1,900). We stopped because we passed a lovely post office and a taxidermy shop and Wilford Brimley lives there. If you can’t stop in the town where Wilford Brimley lives, then why drive across the country at all. The taxidermy shop showcases (and I quote here from the official Destination 2010 Wyoming website) “outstanding taxidermy works of animals that seem in motion in a natural setting in their front window display.” Sarah refused to get out of the car. The entire display looked like it was alive and the highlight was a deer being killed by a wolf – both of them captured “in motion.” Eric and I were fascinated. Cece was off talking to complete strangers which is pretty much what she did every stop, which always led to us learning more about the area or getting an invitation to lunch, a birthday party, or something like that. Eric and I went to the post office and just had to go back to the taxidermist shop. It was like a magnet for him – dirt, animals, and tools. If it had also displayed rocks, sand and bugs, we might have never been able to leave Greybull. Anyway, as we were looking into the store a guy walked by and he tipped his cowboy hat to me said “Afternoon Miss.” In that moment, I decided that hats and hat tipping should come back into style for men. We chatted for a bit about the weather, the taxidermy store, horses, the Internet, etc. and after Cece came back, she and I and I headed back to the car and headed out of town. Next up: Shell ([population, 50).

All the while as we were driving out of Cody and towards Greybull, we could see this magnificent snow-capped mountain range far off to the left (north) of Route 14. Cece kept asking if we were going to cross that mountain range and I, of course, said no. I mean they were to the north and we were heading east. It seemed reasonable. Then, there came a point when we could not see the mountains off in the distance and the reason for that was that we were in Shell, Wyoming, which, surprise, surprise is located near the base of the Big Horn Mountains. And surprise, surprise, the Big Horn Mountains reach a peak of 13,179 feet and surprise, surprise their highest point has a lot of what I now know is “topographic prominence”, which basically means that it looks really tall and dramatic. The thing about Shell is that after passing through town, you end up in Shell Canyon, with its sheer rock walls leading to Shell Waterfall which is characterized as an oasis in the middle of a high (very high) dessert. Check out the pictures at the bottom. The weird thing about the drive was that we would see bicyclists miles away from anything, some of them with back packs. How did they get there? Surely, they did not bike 30 miles uphill. Are they planning to bike over the mountains? Who knows? If we had been in a valley, we might have found out because Cece would have asked. But as it was, she had her eyes closed for much of the drive, was muttering about trying to find a helicopter service to take her Sarah and Eric out of the mountains but we had no cell phone service and urging my children to be silent. “Sarah, Eric – no talking back there. Your mother is driving.” “Please no music, your mother is driving.” “Guys come on you can’t ask her to look at how high up we are, she is driving.” “Guys, didn’t that sign say 25 mph up ahead? Do you think your mother saw it?” “You know, I have been to Wyoming before and I don’t remember anything like this.” And so on. It’s only about 60 miles up and over the mountains and I think that this is one of the best drives ever and I encourage everyone to try it. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It is the fastest route from Rapid City, South Dakota/Mount Rushmore to Yellowstone. Ranchester marked the point where we more or less exited the mountains and picked up I-90. Since, we were so close to the Montana/Wyoming border, we (and by we, I mean I) decided to pop up to Montana.

That trip took about 20 minutes because when the speed limit is 75 mph and every car on the road is going over 85 mph, it does not take that long to go 20 miles. What is in Montana? As far as I can see nothing. I am going to have to go back next year and check it out in more detail. It just can’t be as empty as it looks.

We turned around and headed back to Wyoming stopping in Sheridan for lunch. Now here is what happens to you when you spend days in northwestern Wyoming passing towns with populations of 10, 50, 700, etc. You get to Sheridan (population 15,804) see a Home Depot and find yourself saying “Wow, this is a big city.” The children and Cece went to lunch in a McDonalds and I took a call. By the time I got into the restaurant, Eric had made friends with a four year old girl and they were playing together. Her parents and younger brother were sitting with Cece and Sarah. The parents had just finished telling Cece that they used to live in Ranchester, but it was too small. Plus, the schools in Sheridan are really good. They encouraged us to move to Sheridan and I told them that we will consider it. So far Andrew is stubbornly opposed to even considering relocating, but . . . We are still talking about that couple because they were so sweet. They had loads of “positive vibrations.”

As we left Sheridan on I-90 East which is really travelling north to south at that point, we look back and saw the Big Horn Mountains looking majestic behind us. I said “wow, I feel great having crossed those. I feel kind of like the people who settled the west only in reverse and in a 2010 GMC Acadia.” To which Cece responded “Well you ought to feel like that blazing a trail for black people into Wyoming.” I wish that we had taken a picture of the Big Horn Mountains from our new vantage point. Unfortunately, it’s hard to take a good picture when you are travelling 90 mph down the highway making tracks for Mount Rushmore. We decided to stop in Sundance, Wyoming for gas just because we liked the name. While we were at the gas station facing east, a car pulled up going west. And the people struck up a conversation with me. It turns out that they were relocating from upstate New York to Portland, Oregon. They gave me some great suggestions for stops in Wisconsin so I added that to our itinerary. More about that in the future.

Meantime, Mount Rushmore (“I’m out for dead presidents to represent me”). Cece and I had another one of our little mountain moments when she asked if I thought that there would be mountains on the way to Mount Rushmore and I said no, but the name might suggest something. Cece came through like a champ because it wasn’t much especially after crossing Jackson Pass and the Big Horn Mountains. She has sworn never to drive in Wyoming again, but I think I will be able to change her mind or I’ll have to drug her. I’m picturing her waking up like B.A. Baracus. But, back to Mount Rushmore. It looks just like it does in the movies. It’s what this trip was initially all about for me so I was thrilled to be there. For Sarah, it was just one step closer to the Mall of America. For Cece and Eric, it was all about the rocks because they started a rock collection about two days into the trip. I, of course took the ranger tours, went to the artist’s studio, asked questions and had a good old time. In the pictures below, the one from the artist’s studio is the one that shows the monument from the view that the sculptor expected it to be viewed. Check out http://www.nps.gov/archive/moru/park_history/carving_hist/carving_history.htm for the history of Mount Rushmore. In all those tours and walks, etc, I learned about the Fort Laramie Treaty. Here is an excerpt from a government sponsored web site: “In the spring of 1868 a conference was held at Fort Laramie . . . that resulted in a treaty with the Sioux. This treaty was to bring peace between the whites and the Sioux who agreed to settle within the Black Hills reservation in the Dakota Territory. The Black Hills of Dakota are sacred to the Sioux Indians. In the 1868 treaty, signed at Fort Laramie and other military posts in Sioux country, the United States recognized the Black Hills as part of the Great Sioux Reservation, set aside for exclusive use by the Sioux people. In 1874, however, General George A. Custer led an expedition into the Black Hills accompanied by miners who were seeking gold. Once gold was found in the Black Hills, miners were soon moving into the Sioux hunting grounds and demanding protection from the United States Army. Soon, the Army was ordered to move against wandering bands of Sioux hunting on the range in accordance with their treaty rights. In 1876, Custer, leading an army detachment, encountered the encampment of Sioux and Cheyenne at the Little Bighorn River. Custer's detachment was annihilated, but the United States would continue its battle against the Sioux in the Black Hills until the government confiscated the land in 1877. To this day, ownership of the Black Hills remains the subject of a legal dispute between the U.S. government and the Sioux.” What this excerpt does not say is that the Sioux won a court battle that granted them the market value of the land in 1877 plus 103 years of interest ($105 million) and the Sioux have refused the money and continued to demand their land back. Meanwhile, the “replacement” reservation is in the Badlands and is one of the poorest counties in the country. According to a park ranger, the land in the Black Hills is technically in limbo because the treaty has never been repudiated and one is technically not supposed to enter the area without an invitation from the Sioux. I found all of this fascinating, but while I was doing all this touring and learning, Sarah, Eric and Cece were hanging out in the promenade, having drinks, shopping, watching a stage show, etc. Basically, it was like a trip to the mall for them.

There was a member of the Lakota people at Mt Rushmore doing some traditional dances and playing the flute. Somehow after he told us about his son who is an Army Ranger in Iraq he invited Cece on stage with him. Why? It had something to do with her saying that she is part Cherokee. Unfortunately, she did not have a flute with her so we had to miss that.

You can’t go to Mount Rushmore without going to Crazy Horse so, of course, we went. I have no idea when they are going to finish that thing. It is huge and it will be magnificent, but right now, it is a work in progress. The people carving the monument will not accept government funds and are hard at work blowing up the mountain and raising the money to complete the monument. I bet that $105 million would help, but you have to have principles. So, in the meantime unlike in national parks like Mount Rushmore where one cannot legally take anything, including rocks, the Crazy Horse people are selling chunks of the rock blown out of the mountain to create the monument. Eric and Cece each purchased one.

Next time, I’ll tell you why Eric and I have to get back to South Dakota in September. I’ll give you a hint – it’s a new friend’s birthday party.

Cody, Wyoming


Greybull, Wyoming



Welcome to Shell!


Shell, Wyoming


Shell, Wyoming


Shell, Wyoming




Vista outside of Shell, Wyoming


Shell Canyon/Waterfall (Big Horn National Forest)



Shell Waterfall



Hey, Cece come on up here with me.



Mt. Rushmore Park Ranger



Lincoln at Mt. Rushmore


View from Artists Studio



Crazy Horse

All Yellowstone, All the Time

We left Jackson and headed for the south entrance of Yellowstone by way of Moose, Wyoming (I just had to mail letters from the Moose post office for the fun of it). As we arrived at Yellowstone, it started to hail, not too badly only about the size of gumballs as compared to the hail the size of golf balls that fell out of the sky for about an hour once when I was driving through Indiana. When you say “hail the size of fill in the bank,” you have to say it like Gilbert Gottfried – it’s a rule with hail. Off we went to see Old Faithful, Lewis Canyon and Kepler Cascade. The drive wasn’t too bad from a Cece on the brink of a nervous breakdown perspective. She was not too happy about the canyon and just refused to exit the car at the cascades. But the fun really began when we headed out of the park via the eastern access road for Cody, Wyoming, our next stop. Our guide in Jackson had told us that he loves the East Entrance Road (which is also the east exit road) at Yellowstone because it has great views. Apparently, when someone tells you that in connection with western Wyoming, it means the roads are narrow, twisty, have crazy elevation changes and may or may not have guardrails. It’s a really beautiful drive with fantastic views, but to paraphrase Jay-Z, I should have slipped Cece an Ambien. We met up with a motorcycle gang on East Entrance Road; I was a little concerned about them at first because they all had their faces fully covered except for their eyes which makes me think robbery, but then one of them turned around and I saw that the “gang’s” logo was “Cycling for Jesus” so really how scared can you be of that? And they had just left Cody and gave me some tips for things to do there (I told you about the nice people and the motorcycle gangs). I did not drive us off the road and off we went through the Shoshone National Forest, following Route 16 and the Shoshone River to Cody. By the way, it was in the Shoshone River that we saw our first two mooses. Something about that last word does not seem right.

In Cody, we stayed at the Cody Legacy Inn and Suites. It’s a cute little place but it is a motel as in you park your car outside of your room. But, it is super cute but not luxurious and the furniture looks like it was hand hewn by a decent but not great woodworker, but it is the “greatest hotel ever.” Before Cody, we had stayed in SLC at the Grand America – five star, European style luxury hotel with spa. Our room was a huge suite because of an upgrade with an air tub, kitchen with laundry, marble everywhere, etc. I mean this is a hotel where the house band played a jazz version of ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” just because Eric asked for it during Sunday brunch. Then in Jackson, we stayed for couple of days at the Teton Mountain Lodge, which has the western lodge approach to luxury going on – suite with kitchen, fireplace, whirlpool tub, spa, steps from the lift to the slopes, etc. So, we get to the Cody Legacy Inn, go to our room and are looking around and it is nice and we open the curtains and Eric looks out the window and says with great emphasis: “This is the best hotel ever!” Why? The hotel has a full on view of McDonalds. And every day in Cody, he would fling the curtains open and show us the McDonalds and remind us that “this is the best hotel ever.” And, of course, ask for a Happy Meal for lunch or dinner.

We used Cody as our base for exploring the eastern side of Yellowstone and saw the Yellowstone River and Lake, the Upper and Lower Yellowstone Falls, the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, the mud volcanoes and Lamar Valley. We saw so many bison that the children stopped looking up when we said bison and together with Cece wrote a song called “Don’t Call Me Buffalo” that sounds a little bit like the “don’t call it s comeback” line from “Momma Said Knock You Out.” We saw just about every animal (moose, elk, bison, big horn sheep, deer, wolf) that is in the park except for bears and we just missed seeing a mother bear and some cubs and some grizzlies one day. But that could have been all for the best. After all, the coffee ladies (the really nice ladies who wear big turquoise jewelry and run the drive through coffee hut across from the “best hotel ever”) told us one morning as we were discussing the wind gusts of 60 mph that were blowing through town (I told you – crazy weather) that a bear had killed and partially eaten a guy near Cody. I did not believe them. I thought that they were pulling my leg, but I played along to be polite. I should have known better. I am not sure about the eating part. Check out http://www.cody-wyoming-network.com/2010/06/areas-of-shoshone-national-forest-closed-due-to-grizzly-mauling/ if you do not believe me. I did learn an important tip from the ladies for dealing with bears and this is a direct quote: “Always carry your bear spray . . . and a sawed off shot gun.” Those are words to live by, pretty much anywhere you go -- hope for the best but plan for the worst. By the way, you can get a pretty good espresso in Cody. There is more than one place but I like the hut run by the ladies and it is conveniently located across from the “best hotel ever” in the parking lot with McDonalds.

We also went up, down and around Yellowstone’s highest peak. I am pretty sure that by the time that we completed the return trip on that peak, Cece thought that nothing could be more stressful. I know that I was worried about her and my sanity. Hers because she was starting to sympathy drive and read all the warning signs out loud because I had yelled at her a couple of times about telling me how to drive. Rather than tell me to slow down she would say out loud to herself “Hmm, I think that sign said slow down to 25 mph because the road curves.” And my sanity, because she is a passenger seat driver who is admittedly afraid of heights and that puts a lot of stress on the real driver. But, I did not know stress until we crossed the Big Horn Mountains on our way out to South Dakota by way of Montana. Next trip – Ambien for one of us for sure.

Next post, will finally get us out of Wyoming by way of Greybull (population around 900 including one really nice cowboy and a very busy taxidermist), Emblem (population 10), Shell (population 50), Ranchester (population around 750) and Sheridan (population around 18,000), a pit stop in Montana and on to the next one, South Dakota.

Kepler Cascade


Lewis River and Canyon


Yellowstone Lake



Don't Call Me a Buffalo


Yellowstone Canyon


Upper Falls at Yellowstone


Lamar Valley at Yellowstone


Moose in the Shoshone River along the road to Cody, WY


Lower Falls at Yellowstone


Old Faithful (but did we really need a caption for this one)

I posted some pictures from my trip from Palo Alto, California to New York on my Facebook page and some of my friends asked me to start a blog about the trip. So, here goes.

Planning for the trip got started last year when I became obsessed (not sure why) with going to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore. It also fit nicely with my stated goal of visiting all 50 states. When the trip started, I still had Maine, Washington, Oregon, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Idaho, and Wisconsin to visit and going to Mount Rushmore would kill a lot of those birds. If you are thinking of driving across the West and upper Midwest don’t do it if any of the following things bother you:

· 75 mph speed limits

· Lots and lots of RVs most of them going 90 mph

· Wild animals

· Everything costing less than you think and really huge portions (more about that later)

· Crazy weather (more about that later)

· Motorcycle gangs (more about that later)

· Really friendly, chatty people who look really wholesome (more about that later)

Utah and Nevada

So off we went with Andrew driving us non-stop pretty much to Salt Lake City. It’s a lot of fun driving through northern California and then you hit Reno and the vast nothing of the deserts of northern Nevada. There is probably no greater psychological transition than the change from Nevada to Utah. Interstate 80 has bill boards for brothels and then you hit Utah. It’s a total and I mean total change of pace. You can barely buy a drink in Utah much less a brothel. We stayed at the Grand America Hotel. Having been to Nevada and Utah a bunch of times before, this stage of the trip felt like the preamble for the big deal: Andrew flies home to Palo Alto and I drive from Salt Lake City to New York by way of the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore (finally), Sioux Falls, Fargo, Bloomington (MN), Chicago and the rest TBD during the trip. The main thing about this trip to SLC was Rose from the spa. She literally gave me her home (yes, that is home) phone number in case I had any questions about skin care while driving through the mountains. And there was the super rainbow that the children and I saw on our way to get my sister-in-law from the SLC airport. By the way, in case you have any doubts, SLC shuts down at around 9 p.m.

Idaho

Of all the states that I planned to visit, Idaho caused me the most concern. I had this image of Idaho as the Aryan Nation and that as my son would say is “not good, it’s bad.” But, I decided why not? Just make sure that you stay in southern Idaho. Well guess what, Idaho is really pretty hence the license plate “Scenic Idaho.” The famous potatoes part is a little lame, but whatever, at least we did not meet any white supremacists and we met an African-American woman with dreadlocks styled a la Rick James, bangs and all. Idaho Falls is really cute. The falls are adorable. I wonder what it looks like in the winter, but in early June – yummy. The scenery all the way to the Wyoming border was amazing. Unfortunately, it was driving over Teton Pass that I first began to realize that my sister-in-law is afraid of driving (or being driven) over mountains and is the kind of passenger who keeps giving the driver unnecessary instructions and gasping with fear. This was “not good.” When you hear “pass” when you are crossing mountains, you know that you are going to driving on switchbacks, etc.

Wyoming

Wyoming is sick. Western Wyoming is so beautiful and dramatic that when you get to eastern Wyoming, you are totally unimpressed and in any other state, you would be having a fit about how pretty it is. In Jackson, pretty much everyone is really cute in a pink cheeked, “I just went hiking/fly fishing/snow boarding or any other random outdoor activity” kind of way. I think that they have a rule there that if you work in Jackson, you have to be cute and do at least one nutty outdoor activity each day. We stayed at Teton Mountain Lodge, which was great. Our guide through the Tetons was tall and handsome and looked like he should model for some outdoor gear company. Of course, he fly fishes, knows everything about every animal in the Grand Teton National Park, hunts elk for food, leads snow mobile tours in the winter, works on a winter rescue team and had scaled some of the Tetons. No surprise really, because like I said before you have to do that. It’s a rule in Jackson. The Tetons are magnificent. I mean really, they really do just jut up out of the valley. The snow capped peaks are amazing with the lakes and the Snake River. And Jackson is kind of like Greenwich but out west so you can find decent food, boutiques, etc. I can’t say that I would ever live there, but I definitely want to go back. Check out this picture and just call me Ansel Adams.

Then just when you think, okay the Grand Tetons were great. Really, what else could there be in this state of 700K (rounded way up) people. Then you drive an hour or so and you are at the south entrance of Yellowstone. Yellowstone is like this natural freak show. Any weird geo-thermal activity that you can think of you can find there. And the views – crazy. But, don’t forget about Cece (my sister-in-law) and her fear of heights. Again, “not good.” Mere words cannot express how nervous a passenger she was as we drove through Yellowstone or really all of Wyoming. I have to go back to Yellowstone. The place is huge and I did not get to see a lot of things that I wanted to see. As to the weather, June in Yellowstone is apparently winter. On our first day, hail the size of gumballs fell as we were arriving and on the second day, we had snow.

Next post, I’ll tell you about Cody, Wyoming and the bear that killed and (according to my coffee ladies) partially ate a guy and the best hotel ever according to my son.